Before anything else, I’d like to greet everyone a happy new year!

Anyway, I haven’t written a post in about a month, mainly because of work and the holidays. Though I had a lack of downtime compared to the previous years, I tend to still contemplate a lot especially when I’m alone. I realized 2017 was a turbulent yet fruitful year, and while there were things that hurt like hell, a lot of other things were worth celebrating.

Although these are my personal experiences and musings, I figured maybe some of you could relate. Here are the things I did in 2017 that I will carry on this year.

I Traveled

A few years ago, I made a pact with myself that I will travel at least once a year, preferably internationally. I’m a city girl, born and raised in the heart of Metro Manila, so traveling is a must for me. I need to get out of the monotony and humdrum that comes with living in one of the most populous and traffic-filled metropolitan areas in Asia (and possibly the world).

The last time I traveled abroad was in 2014, and it was for work. Locally, I would “travel” but it was for band-related tours (I manage a few bands and I would tag along when they do local tours). Last year was the only time I truly traveled for leisure.

I finally renewed my passport and my US visa in the first quarter, and then hauled my ass over to Los Angeles. I had about a week in LA, so I stayed with my high school best friend and her husband. I tried to enjoy myself there as much as I possibly could. I met up with friends and enjoyed the sights, went to a You Me At Six concert, went to Universal Studios, trotted along the Avenue of the Stars, and reveled in the California sunshine everybody seems to be raving about. 10/10 would do again.

I Explored My Career Options

I was in the same job for over three years, a job I enjoyed and loved but could no longer move from, whether vertically or horizontally. In a somewhat crazy twist, I also was exploring job possibilities abroad, something that I’ve always wanted to do but never truly committed myself to.

I quit my old job, took on freelance/telecommute work to tide myself over, and then flew to the US to go to interviews. After my vacation in LA, I went straight to Seattle and went on a job hunt hyperdrive. I went on various interviews not just in the Seattle metro, but also around Portland. It was challenging, as not many employers would freely sponsor your work visa unless you already have one (I know, right?), even though they like your job history and feel you are fully qualified. It broke my heart, but after nearly a month and after tragedy struck back home in Manila in early June, I left.

By July, I was working again in an office job, albeit on the graveyard shift in one of Manila’s popular business areas. For someone who’s had sleeping issues since childhood, you’d think I’d be doing fairly well being awake at night. Well, I’m surviving, but surprisingly more exhausted than I ever thought I would be. Upside, I’m no longer experiencing the horrendous traffic jams my peers have to go through daily. Downside, my circadian rhythm is out of whack so I am more focused on my health than I ever was.

Bottom line is, I took big risks career-wise. I’m not stopping any time soon.

I Spent More Time with My Family

My crazy move to the US and then getting flung back to the Philippines gave me perspective. Before I left, I moved back into my parents’ house and spent as much time as I could with them. When I came back from my career adventure abroad, I had a heavy heart. Spending time with my parents and siblings, and even my pets, was something I ended up treasuring even more than ever.

Leaving home, albeit temporarily, gave me a serious reality check. Now, I treat my parents to random dinners, no occasion needed. I hang out with my siblings, in-laws, and niece whenever we could (which is a challenge because being on the graveyard shift means I rarely get to see them when they visit on the weekends…because I’m usually asleep). I would watch films with them, or go to a cafe, or just hang out at home. We now have planned days/nights out, and are looking forward to future family trips.

I Took Better Care of My Health – Mental and Physical

I tried to be more physically and mentally healthy. I belong to a generally health-conscious family, which helps a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I could ever go completely vegetarian or vegan. However, I do believe in balance. I eat a lot and I enjoy food, but what I binge on I make up for in healthier alternatives.

For instance, I have cut most added sugar from my intake. I rarely drink juices and sodas. At coffee and tea shops, I ask for less or even zero sugar. I use an app (WaterMinder) to track my water intake – drink lots of water, it’s good for you. I use another app (Stand Up!) to remind me to stand from my work desk every hour, especially since I have a sedentary job in front of a computer. I have another app (Period Planner) for my… monthly female issues. At one point, I used another app (Moves) to track how many steps I take in a day. I know it sounds basic, but apps really do help, or at least they’ve helped me.

I went to doctors for E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. I went to get fillings and other dental problems fixed. I took an annual physical. I went to an orthopedic doctor and then a physical therapist to get my back problems sorted. I sought help for mental health. I took advantage of my health coverage because my body deserved to be in its top shape.

And on the topic of mental health, one of the things I did was minimize my use of (and access to) social media. More on that later. I also tried to be more expressive, going back to writing journals and lyrics. I have a bunch of notebooks I scribble little anecdotes onto, or draw on, or whatever. I have not played music on stage in a while, but playing guitar in my room or just singing along to music I’m listening to is just as therapeutic. Body art is another option, and I know I’d like to get more piercings or tattoos should my budget (and parents, lol) allow.

I Minimized Social Media

In relation to the previous topic, I minimized my use of social media. It’s funny to think that there was a time when I would post on Facebook multiple times a day, have around 20 tweets on my personal Twitter (not including @ replies), post maybe 5 Snapchats every 24 hours, and Instagramming every single thing I’m doing. It’s not that I’m looking down on people whose lives are on social media almost 24/7 – that’s their thing, not mine. I’ve found I can’t handle the constant notifications, and that I am actually a very private person who prefers interaction done in person than on a 5-inch screen.

During certain emotional breakdowns, I would even deactivate my accounts and delete apps from my phone. Today, I still have these apps, but I found myself less dependent on anything that involves mindless scrolling through other peoples’ thoughts. I understand that social media is inevitable – in fact, some of my freelance writing work comes through my personal Facebook account, so deactivating is almost never a good option anymore. However, I now limit my time on any of these apps, and have tinkered with my phones to make sure there are little to no notifications (most Type A people such as myself are irritated and can’t resist opening them because of those red indicator numbers, so getting rid of them was a big help). I even use a Chrome extension called News Feed Eradicator so when I’m on a desktop or laptop, I only have the Messenger feature.

I Moisturized Like Crazy

My age is not really a big secret, but people kind of get blown away when they find out about my age. I’m turning 31 in less than a week, by the way, and anybody who’s turned 30 and up know that moisturizing is a thing. Even lips need moisturizing, so I’ve stocked up on all the lip balms I could manage to, especially since I use a lot of matte lipsticks which are notorious for drying lips out.

Here’s the thing: even if you have oily or combination skin, moisturize! It can get especially hard in cold and/or humid weather. Damn, the dryness I experienced while in the States, and that was during spring and fall! I could only imagine how parched peoples’ skin can get in the winter.

Get a routine for your face and neck. Mine’s facial wash, then eye gel, then moisturizer. And one more thing: sunscreen. Moisturizers with sunblock are a god-send. Do it. You’ll thank Baz Luhrmann and yours truly later. 😉

I Dated

This may shock certain people, but I do go on dates. I dated six guys last year, most of whom never went beyond one date, and one whom I madly fell in love with and got broken up by. I have no regrets. I learned a lot of things about myself along the way. While it hurt like a bitch losing the person I believe is the love of my life, I also realized through him what I want and don’t want in a relationship. I learned to say no to guys who do not do more than the bare minimum. I learned I can handle a long-distance romance. I learned I would never want anything less than what I had with my former boyfriend. I learned how much my heart could possibly break, and how much better I can become after healing. I learned that you can stop being in love yet still genuinely care and be happy for the other person, even when his happiness no longer includes you. I found out I have even more love to give, even when I thought it was all drained from my being. I stopped dating for a while because I felt exhausted and knew I do not have the energy to focus on other people while I try and mend. I learned so much about myself through all the happiness and heartache, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I Committed to a Look

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Yet, we forget that the first one to behold your sight is you. I truly believe that if you don’t think you are beautiful, no one else would believe it. They also say that looks aren’t everything, but I believe it’s something. It contributes to who you are.

With that in mind, I committed to having an image of myself that I truly believe in. I almost never go out without at least some lip balm and groomed eyebrows. I want to look polished and fresh, no matter what time of day it is. Hey, you never know if you’ll run into an old flame or a ~frenemy~ at the grocery. For more formal or glam occasions, I at least know how to put on some makeup – eyeshadow, mascara, eyeliner, maybe a bit of bronzer and highlighter. I really studied what would look good on me or not, based on color, face shape, hair color, etc.

Speaking of hair, I committed myself to a look there as well. I went for over two years without getting a haircut, so in January of last year I went to a salon and properly got my hair colored. I went for an ash/gray shade, and maintained it for maybe eight or nine months. After that bored me, I cut my hair super short, then eventually bleached it and then went back to red hair. While gray was fun for a while, red is something I’ve always come back to – I know how to do it myself and how to maintain it, even with my eyes closed.

I Got Organized

I’m not just talking about organizing physical stuff – I’m also talking about getting rid of other types of clutter. There’s emotional clutter, often tied to physical things as well. Then, there’s digital clutter. I got rid of everything I didn’t want or need. Things that were still useful, I gave away or sold. Things that were broken, I threw out. Even my emails have been cleaned out. I opted out of stupid newsletters that I never really bother to read. I got rid of Facebook contacts I don’t recognize. I unfollowed accounts and pages that were no longer entertaining or were promoting negative, toxic ideas. I got rid of files on my hard drives that no longer meant anything. I gave away clothes that no longer fit me. I took down photos from my wall that have faded or showed the faces of people I no longer associate myself with. It’s like breaking up with your things, physical, emotional, and digital, except they can’t plea for a second chance. It’s brutal, but necessary, and I’ve never felt better.

I Embraced Feminism

I think I’ve always been a feminist, without realizing it. People have this misconstrued image that feminists are man-haters. We’re not. I used to hate the term “feminism” but now I have embraced it. As Maisie Williams once put it, “You are either a normal person or a sexist.” I know I am not a sexist – I am for equality between the sexes. I have stood up for myself and for other women when men treat us unfairly. I learned that it’s not fair to pit fellow women against each other. I learned that there’s so much more to learn. I have much more to learn. All in all, I think it boils down to being a good person and not treating others like shit because they’re of a certain sex.

I Saved Money

I saved a lot of money, both intentionally and unintentionally. I’m the type of person who would hyperfocus, so when I set my mind on something I would obsess over it and just do it. Consciously, I spent as little as I could without risking hunger or safety. I’ve always been creative with budgeting, and found ways of saving cash as much as I could. Before splurging on anything, I asked myself if I needed it or only wanted it – a cliche phrase that somehow works for me. If I could live without something, I’d live without it. But if I feel something’s worth it, well…

I Spent Money

This brings me to treating myself (and people I love) to a bit of luxury in life. I’m not really speaking of lavish things, but rather occasional enjoyments. Early last year, I subscribed to Netflix (and then tried out iflix and Hooq as well) – I rarely watch TV but I do enjoy a good movie or two, and binged TV shows I truly enjoyed. I spent well-earned cash on things I know will go the extra mile, like a few good lipsticks, a proper phone, or a new laptop. Just because I’m saving cash doesn’t mean I’m depriving myself – I’m just trying to be more smart about where my money is going. It could be an investment like insurance, a good cause like a donation to something that tugs my heartstrings, or even a few cool things like treating myself or my family to something nice. It’s nice to enjoy the feeling that the money I’ve saved is money I can freely spend the way I want.

In a Nutshell, I Was Kinder to Myself

All in all, 2017 was a rollercoaster that I would never get to ride again. I’m looking forward to more of the above in 2018, but better. I don’t know what my future holds – nobody does about anyone. We can, however, take steps into the future we see ourselves having. I’m slowly but surely taking the steps I need to take to get to where I want to be, and I’m excited for what’s to come 🙂